Isaiah 61: 1-3

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

Dear Reader,

I woke up with a surprising feeling today: Gratitude. I didn’t expect that. I can only attribute it to the Work of the Holy Spirit within and the prayers of those who are aware. This is the day that marks one year without my son to come visit, call on the phone or text with a funny meme. It has been a year since that last God-talk with Him about faith and freedom in Christ, choices made, rewards and consequences regarding choices and compromise.

I loved those talks.

I’m grateful for the time I had with Stephen, both good and heart wrenching. I learned a lot about me, expectations, praying for our kids, and REALLY listening in order to respond rather than react out of fear.

I learned that salvation is not for getting to heaven, though it does include this promise. Salvation, the freedom Jesus Christ won for us, is for life now. We live in that freedom from the moment of conversion. The Kingdom is present and available even though we cannot fully see it manifested. We do see it in moments when the Holy Spirit is allowed to move through His people with power and demonstration as well as a well-placed word of caution or encouragement. The Kingdom of God provides all that is needed for the abundant life for those who believe. It is available for those who receive it.

Most of all, and most importantly, I’ve learned to rest. I’ve learned to rest in His Sovereignty. That the Heavenly Father I know would never do anything that was not good, righteous and just. How can I say this after the year I’ve had? I can say this because I’ve let go of the need to understand all that my Creator does, says, and allows according to all He knows; according to the free will He gives everyone. Like all of God’s people, I am only responsible for listening to and obeying what He tells me through His word and through His people that He has placed in my life. The guiding principle, of course, is that the Word and Spirit ALWAYS agree.  

This is a great relief.

This is a choice to believe that I have made, is for life over death, of victory over victim, and of thriving over striving, faith over fear. I am part of an army rather than an audience. In this battle, and we do wage a spiritual battle, there are casualties. The responsibility is NOT to make sure everyone around me chooses life and therefore are safe from any kind of calamity. I am not responsible for the salvation of another or their accountability to their covenant with Christ.

 What I AM responsible for, according to the Word, is to share Christ whenever I can so the seeds of salvation/freedom/righteousness may be planted and/ or watered. I am NOT responsible for the soil, the germination of those seeds or even the harvest. In this way, the rest I have learned is not passive. This rest is active, according to direction of the Holy Spirit rather than my own strategy, strength or intellect. I knew this in theory, but it has become more real to me this past year as I have walked it out.

Finally, I am grateful for those who are in my life who have encouraged and loved me through this year of firsts. The first birthday without him, the first holidays, the first trip back to the mountain park, the first trip back to the town where he lived. These “firsts” have driven home the importance of knowing that resting in the Sovereignty of God the Father and understanding that Life as a citizen of His Kingdom is an interdependent existence rather than independent living. No one is alone, or without resources within the Covenant of God. Matthew 6 teaches this. It is the reason we don’t need to worry or be anxious about tomorrow. God is already there. He has already brought the answers to the questions and the provision for the need.

Rest is possible, even in these difficult times that sometimes land on our doorstep, and they will.  May the difficult times that may  land on your doorstep, never cross the threshold or change the atmosphere.

Know this: Life is good, God is good. He HAS AND WILL CONTINUE to:

 bind up the brokenhearted,

 to proclaim liberty to the captives,

 and the open the prison to them that are bound;

To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance [Justice]of our God;

to comfort all that mourn.

Grace and peace,

Anne